8 things I wish my Momma told me…

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but this year I turn 35. Like how?! I swear I just turned 30. Anyhow, I really have learned a lot since entering my 30’s. Some things were lessons reinforced from when I was a child. Like the fact that every one is not your friend. Some people are in your life for a reason or a season. Once their purpose has been fulfilled, it’s time to go.

I decided to come up with a list of things that wished I knew before this whole “adulating” situation happened.

1. How to Keep Friends

   I have always considered myself to be a good friend. But I have learned that what I experience and what my friends experience are two different things. I felt that because I was always ready to show up for my friends when they needed me, that that was enough. Just like a romantic relationship, communication, honesty, trust, vulnerability are all vital to success. It’s a ongoing lesson, but I learning.

2. The Joy of Reading

   I used to hate reading. Most likely because it was associated with homework. I mean my Med-Surg textbook was 12lbs (yes, we weighed it). But in the last couple of years I really have become quite fond of reading or listening to audiobooks. Its crazy to think that I would actually prefer to read a book to watching t.v.

3. Tricks and Tips about Money

   Money is such a taboo topic for most people. People don’t ever want to talk about it, but somehow when you become an adult you’re supposed to be responsible with it. Whenever I received money the first 10% went to tithe and the rest was for me! I quickly learned that this was not a good strategy. I always felt there should have been a class at some point in college that explained budgeting, savings, 401K, taxes, so that once we entered the “real world” we’d have some idea as to what we were walking in to.

4. How to Cook Chicken

   You may think this is silly, but growing up vegetarian means that I have no idea what I’m doing with chicken. Now give me some fri-chik and grillers, its on! I have my little tricks, but I really want to be able to make that finger-licking good chicken from scratch.

5. Intimacy, what’s that?

   Bring your mind out of the bedroom! I’m not talking about sex. I mean growing deep with someone emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and eventually physically. I have come to realize that in some of my past relationships I focused on very surface compatiblity. When It came time to communicate and dig deep, I shut all the way down. I’m still in the process of exploring what that’s all about, and until I do, I think my relationships can only go so far.

6. How to Take Care of a Man

   I guess this is a good follow up to intimacy, right? Although I’ve been in a few serious relationships, I have never taken the time to define my role as a girlfriend, let alone a wife. I have always done what I think I’m supposed to do as a girlfriend. Being in a relationship is so much more than having a title and someone to take selfies with.

7. To Speak Up for Myself

   My mom actually tried really hard to get me to stand up for myself. All through elememtary, I would resort to tears before I would deal with any confrontation. I deemed myself non-confrontational . I found that an easy way to not deal with my issues. Speaking up for mself is still hard. I still tend to but everyone and their needs before mine. Every day I have to make the decision to chose me, first. It sounds selfish, but if I don’t take care of me, who will?

8. How to Relax

   How does one truly relax? Is it a massage? Sleep? Workout? Coming up I watched my parents work day in and day out. Even on vacation my mom was working. They sacrificed so much in order to put my sisters and I through private school and give us a very active childhood, for which I’m grateful. Now that I am in the healthcare field, I realize how important it is to take of yourself, completely. It is vital to slow down and take time to take care of yourself in whatever way suits you best.

There are plenty more life lessons that I could mention, but eight seemed like a good place to wrap up. I m eager to discover more areas to learn and grow, especially as I enter year 35.